The Pain of Being

In between these calls I am in pain. A pain of being. A pain that is not physical injury, but a psychic one.

A pain of being no further ahead than my ancestors were when enslaved on these continents. The pain of performing for the white gaze. The pain of making others' feeling safe and secure through the ever present threat of my elimination.

The pain of wasted years going after things I never wanted. The pain of never being seen as a full Human being. The pain of the assisne to lazy to read documentation.